Wednesday, 3 December 2014

Runstreak Day #352 - support matters

When you're having a hard time generally, it seems that people are very quick to say that it's the running that's the cause of your problems.  That you need to rest.  It's somehow so alien to people (other runners too) that you should run every day that it *must* be that which is the problem.  Or at least, by running, you're making things worse.

I've felt that recently.  I know that it's hard to hear when someone else is struggling.  And it's hard to read that someone is struggling with their energy and their running.  But what you don't want is for people to tell you that the answer is stopping (well-meaning though their advice is).  You want to find ways to carry on doing the thing which you love.  To find a way through the difficult bit to set your running free again.  Instead, people feel they're being supportive by saying 'it's okay to stop' because that's what they would do.  I'm not them though.  I know that I'm fit enough to run every day.  I know that my body is strong enough to run each day without injury.  I know my body well enough to know when a twinge threatens and to ease up.  What's been so hard is to not know what's been the matter when I've felt so poorly recently.

Well, today I saw my doctor... and rather than saying 'it's okay to stop', 'you should stop running', 'you don't have to run' to me - or the umpteen variations I've heard lately... she said 'you need to keep running.  We need to make sure that you can run every day' and helped talk through options with me.  I love that she's supportive of me and recognises running as being part of what helps me to feel better.  She's held my hand when I've wept my way through appointments (damn PTSD and the emotional wreckage of it all!).  She listens.  It feels like she's on my side.  My physio's been like that too.  He is trying to help me keep running.  That makes such a difference to me.  When everything else is still so excruciatingly hard, I have people who are supportive.

So, I ran today.  I only ran just over a couple of miles.  Ran up a steep hill.  Focused on my breathing.  Tried to release what had been a massively stressful day (also had a counselling appointment - cue more weeping).  And with my expectations of how far I can run at the moment lowered, I managed what I managed and I'm proud that I got out there.

Geeky stats stuff

Distance:2.14 mi
Avg Pace:8:44 min/mi
Elevation Gain:173 ft

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