Sunday, 9 November 2014

Runstreak Day #331 - that place beyond treacle...

Moany update alert...

So, today's run was ridiculously rough.  I had a terrible night's sleep - nightmares and flashbacks galore - and even managed the feat of waking up in tears.  Not crying once I'd woken up, no... waking up to find my face wet with tears.  You can tell that I wasn't especially rested, right?!  The rest of the day involved counselling and a doctor's appointment - such are the delights of post-traumatic stress.  And therefore more blubbing.

Now, I know that people say that running is therapy.  Well, I'll tell you what.  Running isn't therapy.  Therapy is hard, draining, emotional stuff.  Running should be a joy.  Should be freedom.  Should be space and time and strength.  Then again, today's run was hard and draining... and physically I felt so tired that I struggled to run at all.

I decided to try listening to music as I ran, which I haven't done in absolutely ages.  I couldn't find my running rhythm at all.  And in the end, I stood, in the cold and dark and listened to the music.  Just me.  No-one else about.  On my own.  And wondered what I was doing at all.  I didn't really care what I looked like.  I closed my eyes.  Listened to the music.  And stood.

Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have gone for a run at all.  Maybe, after 331 days, today should have been a rest day.

No.  Sod it.  I deserve to attempt to at least try to feel like me.  Even if it doesn't pay off.  At least I tried.

If there turns out to be no point to running every day, at least I was doing something to find that out rather than staying at home and doing nothing.

Geeky stats stuff

Distance:2.65 mi
Avg Pace:9:22 min/mi
Elevation Gain:110 ft

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