It's run to work day apparently! But since I'm (still!!) signed off work, I have no work to run to right now... so... instead I ran my littlest to school (me running, him on his scooter). That counts, right? The route is easy. Up a big hill. Down a big hill. Drop him off. Back up the big hill. Gratefully allow gravity to drag you back down towards home.
And all together it's only 2.5 miles. Which is good because I feel absolutely exhausted at the moment!
Anyone fancy a PTSD update? No? Ah well... skip this bit...
In the past four days, I've managed a grand total of 5 hours sleep. I've been prescribed sleeping tablets. And *still* only managed an hour's sleep having taken them! I've seen my counsellor - and blubbed my way through my session. Again. I've seen my doctor - and blubbed my way through my appointment. Again. I've been referred to (another) psychiatrist. Managed to lose yet more weight. And had nightmares every night and all the rest of that good stuff that comes with PTSD. And most of the time when I'm around other people, I am pretty good at faking that I'm okay for a short while, because I want them to treat me like the normal Sarah. Not the one who's writing this.
Why the PTSD update? Because it's also 'Time to Talk' Day (http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/timetotalkday) and I think I just want people to know that even if you feel consumed by mental health problems, you can still find positive things to do. You can still get out there and run. You can still hold on to something that makes you feel good about yourself.
Your life can go from being perfectly fine one day, to an unrecognisable mess the next. In my case, because of a fatal traffic accident. Or it can be a slow slide into feeling unwell. If you can, keep running. Keep reminding yourself who you are and who you'll be again when you're feeling better.
Keep running. It's worth it. You're worth it.