The middle bit of my run was a parkrun, meeting up with some lovely other Nottingham women runners who I've got to know through various Facebook running groups. It does help calm my nerves to know other people who are there. And although I was going to run with everyone else, when it came to it, it was so wet that by the time we got going, I didn't fancy being splashed by everyone so nipped around the edge and then kept going at a pretty relaxed pace, trying not to panic and trying to remember not to go too fast as I still had a run home to do as well.
Running to the park, since I seem to be doing this in reverse order, was a funny old business. Today is exactly 4 years since my Dad died, and I was thinking about him a lot as I ran. In fact, when I set out, I pushed a weeping version of me out of the front door... but at some point while I was running, the tears stopped. Running is somehow very soothing. I wish I'd had it four years ago. Instead, I remember feeling only a jetlagged whoozy, all-consuming grief that couldn't stop. I know the sharpness of loss dulls a little (mainly because you try not to think of it), but running helps my head as much as it increases my fitness.
I still miss my Dad as much as he did the day he died so suddenly. He was a fiercely intelligent man with a gentle soul. I'm glad I have running to provide sanctuary on a date in the calendar I've come to dread.
What would you make of me running, Dad? What would you think about it? It's not the version of me you knew... but four years have passed and lots of things have changed. I braved a parkrun when I didn't feel like braving the world today. I wonder what you would make of that?
Miss you, Dad. Miss you always. x
Geeky stats stuff
Run 1 - run to Colwick parkrun
|Avg Pace:||8:26 min/mi|
Run 2 - Colwick parkrun
|Avg Pace:||8:24 min/mi|
Run 3 - run home from Colwick
|Avg Pace:||9:31 min/mi|