Of all my (many!) annoying habits, I have a thing about listening to the same song over and over sometimes. I try not to do it when there are other people about because it's weird, but when I'm running if I'm listening to music, I get to indulge my 'listen on repeat' thing to my heart's content. Tonight's song of choice was 'On Top of the World' - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5tWYmIOWGk - and like most songs that get into my head when I'm running, suddenly the lyrics applied to my running and all of that made me a happy little sausage.
"I’ve tried to cut these corners
Try to take the easy way out
I kept on falling short of something
I coulda gave up then but
Then again I couldn’t have ’cause
I’ve traveled all this way for something
I take it in but don’t look down
‘Cause I’m on top of the world, ‘ay
I’m on top of the world, ‘ay
Waiting on this for a while now
Paying my dues to the dirt
I’ve been waiting to smile, ‘ay
Been holding it in for a while, ‘ay"
And so on... and I'm running along, singing along (which is pretty damn hard work when you're still quite wheezy!), bludgeoning my way up a hill which seems to last forever, but I'm in my happy running bubble and I don't care about anything other than the music and keeping myself going. Eventually the hill and I are done with one another. I reach the top and have a good old cough and hope no-one's looking at me as I bend over... coughing my way into being able to breathe again.
Then, I carry on listening to the same song, deciding not to do the shorter way to get home but to find a slightly different, slightly longer route because I'm just enjoying listening to the song and enjoying feeling the feeling of stress-free happy. My pace was sl-o-o-o-o-o-o-ow... the hills were steep...my coughing was special... but even when a run is hard, you can still find the pleasure in it. And conquering that hill and not giving up was a toe-tingler of happiness.
Almost 2 years ago exactly, I decided to give running a go. I was 6.5 stones heavier then that I am now. I found it SO hard. Ridiculously hard. Massively unfit and massively overweight it was humiliatingly humbling and difficult. And yet today, I get to go for a run when I'm still not feeling 100% but have moments of such complete on-top-of-the-world happiness that I want to go back 2 years and hug that earlier version of me for sticking with it.
And then we'd have a cup of tea together to celebrate. It would only be right. :D