Monday, 22 September 2014

Runstreak Day #292 - head above water

It's hard to admit you're struggling.  But today has been a struggle.  I am finding being in a car extremely difficult.  I can't face driving - especially not on my own.  Even walking down to the shops this evening was a disaster.  I could feel myself slowing and slowing and almost pinned to the side of the pavement furthest away from the road.  It felt like every car was coming straight for me.  It was awful.

Which means that running on those same pavements, near *that* traffic and feeling that suffocating fear was just not going to happen today.  I can't even get in a car to drive to get to the country parks to avoid the roads.  And since running is my sanity at the moment, I felt suffocated by it all.  In the end, I managed to get myself to run up the hill to the recreation ground which is about a third of a mile away.  There was one car that passed me.  And I ended up stopped, pinned to the fence of a nearby garden until it went by.  Other than that, no cars.  Which was a relief.

So, my run this evening was short.  It involved going around and around the recreation ground.  Zig zagging my way up and down the hill.  Blanking out everything just for a short while.  I've managed to pick up a throat infection on top of everything else... but I need not to think about what happened for a  bit.

When people talk of 'recovery runs', I wonder if they realise how hard a run can be when you're really try to recover?

I'll get there.  Am getting support - and appreciate the support I've been given more than anyone could realise - but it is very hard right now.

Geeky stats stuff

Distance:2.55 mi
Avg Pace:8:36 min/mi
Elevation Gain:104 ft

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