Today was no exception. I really wanted to do parkrun again but I haven't been around many people at all since the accident and was feeling anxious about it. Part of the reason for wanting to go to do parkrun was that I am determined that I'll run the Robin Hood half marathon next Sunday, and I needed to get back to running with other people. It was a huge hurdle to get over - complicated by the fact that I don't feel I can drive at the moment so couldn't get there on my own and I still have tonsillitis, regardless of how crap my running is right now because of dealing with bruises and other pain.
In the end, an amazing running friend picked me up and drove me there and kept me company while I was getting myself wound up into a nervous mess at the start, and even more brilliantly, ran with me - and was prepared to stop if I needed to at any point. Plus, I had hugs from other lovely Notts runners. My running friend was fantastic and stuck with me when I couldn't stop myself from bolting off to get around the people in front. I think it's all part of that suffocating out-of-control feeling from the accident last week. I can't cope with feeling trapped at all. I must have looked a state. Wild-eyed, white faced panic with a crazy running technique where I'm running whilst holding my side as my ribs are very painful - what anyone else must have thought, I don't know.
Anyway, I did it. I ran the whole thing. I didn't give in to the anxiety. I didn't give in to the pain. And I feel humbled by the support I've received.
I'm not sure how I'll cope a week on Sunday. I *will* run that half marathon though. Life is a nightmare at the moment, but I'm damned if the accident is taking my running from me.
This community, our running community, is a very special thing.
Geeky stats stuff
|Avg Pace:||8:14 min/mi|
|Elevation Gain:||35 ft|