So I gave up my last run streak. I got to 795 days and decided that I just didn't want to run the next day. And I didn't. And with that little decision my run streak came to an end two and a bit years after I started it.
In the meantime, I've been running a half marathon each month to raise money for Great Ormond Street. I've been running beginner groups. And improver running groups. I've run for patches of time every day, then stopped. The thing that's really been happening though is that I've lost my pace and I haven't been feeling the love for running for quite a while. That's not good. Then, when I was running the Robin Hood Half Marathon last week... not enjoying it and not feeling good while I was running... I made a decision. I decided not to do any more half marathons this year and to work on finding my love of running again.
For now, I'm going to attempt to run every day in October and see where it takes me. I'd rather run a little each day and enjoy it, than slog out race after race and hate it. This morning was my second day. It wasn't easy - I ended up feeling faint and wheezy. If I'm honest, I'm finding running a bit of a battle right now and I need to run on my own without any pressure at all. I didn't even run very far - just a mile and a half - and I definitely didn't run very fast. Still, I did it. And tomorrow I'll do it again. And again and again. And maybe on one of those runs I'll rediscover the space, peace and strength that running gave me in the first place.