Definition:
Turtle (verb), turtles, turtled, turtling
1. to discover that the brown turtle of doom is interrupting your run
Examples:
'There I was, running along, when I got turtled and had to cut short my run and find a toilet whilst running like a child with a swollen nappy'.
'The only thing that can stop my long run is a turtle'
'I always carry a few sheets of loo paper with me on a cross country run in case I need to sort out some turtling behind a tree in the woods'
And there you have it. A new word to add to your runners' dictionary. You're welcome.
Only, the brown turtle of doom definitely was NOT welcome today. I'd planned my sneaky run this morning properly as well. Got my running kit on under my top, skirt and coat. Did my best 'la la la not going running this morning la la laaaa' face in front of my husband (because I'm planning on going again later as well!!). Walked my son to school. Walked home. Did a superman-style change into my running kit, i.e. put on my trainers and took off my top and skirt (no telephone boxes involved)... and set out on my run.
I hadn't really planned where to go other than 'out'. I vaguely ran towards the nature reserve... but then the railway crossing shut just as I got there so I detoured via the cycleway which runs alongside the tracks. And then... the rumble started. 'It's okay', I think... 'it's just a bit of a gripey tummy'. But no. The turtle had other ideas. I ran up towards the woods, thinking I might then head down towards the country park from there... but the rumbling thundered on.
And the turtle yawned... woke up... and decided to poke his head out to see what was going on (running is ALL glamour, people). AAAAAAARGH!! I was at least a mile and a half from home. My gentle pootle was turning into a hobble of desperation. I ran up a stupidly steep hill... kept running when I saw the postman as I didn't fancy the pitying postman stare which would arrive if I stopped running. Then stopped just round the corner, out of sight. The rumbling carried on. There was no denying it. I was being fully turtled.
As I ran down across the park towards home, doing some kind of clenched stagger, I glanced at my watch. It said I'd done 3.89 miles. And I decided that even if it wasn't at 4 by the time I got back, I didn't care. The turtle had spoken loudly.
Fortunately, as I rounded the corner towards my house, my Garmin beeped that 4th mile (phew!). I barged my way in. And released the turtle back into the wild. :D
And that, my lovelies, is what happens when you get turtled while out on a run.
Day 416... part 1... and I'm still going to go for a second run later. Only, if my husband reads this, all of the above was a lie, and it's my first run of the day. La la laaaaaa, do be doooooo... ;)
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