tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88780868944958448932024-03-13T08:10:49.987+00:00Kinda Running...... running, life, fun, freedom, space... and more running...Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.comBlogger384125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-41521627660020638492019-09-10T21:28:00.003+01:002019-09-16T22:56:15.885+01:00Mental health, mileage and me<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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When I first started to learn to run I was the ultimate non-running cliché. Known to say loudly that I wouldn't even run for a bus, I took perverse pride in my state as a natural non-runner. I wasn't built for it and when I gave it a go... it hurt! Who would want to inflict that on themselves? As my 40s loomed large, a spark of interest flickered into life and I realised it was now or never to really make a difference to my physical health. Others had tried the 'Couch-to-5k' approach and it had worked for them - but I firmly believed it would not apply to me and set out to prove this to be the case!<br />
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On a grim January morning, at a little known nature-reserve in Notts, I put on my ugly, clompy, grey trainers, downloaded the NHS Couch-to-5k app and set off. It was excruciating! No-one saw me. NO ONE! I would have been mortified if they had. I was officially obese (having given up looking after myself when my father died very suddenly), and as unlike a runner as a house brick. The app cheerfully announced eight repeats of one minute's run, followed by a 90 second walk. Each of those little minutes was an exercise in tooth-gritting pain. Eight repeats of the longest minutes on the planet. Eight minutes can seem like a lifetime... especially if your brain has decided to take up chanting an enthusiastic chorus of 'kill me now' by the fifth repetition!<br />
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Because I am massively stubborn (and given a structure I will stupidly and slavishly follow it!), I stuck with it. Through the cold sludge of January, the relentless grey of February and bluster of March, I arrived in April and could run-huff my way for 3 miles. No, it wasn't pretty, but already my body was surprising me. I'd lost 3 stones in weight and felt I'd regained control over my eating / snacking.<br />
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To my bewilderment, I'd started to feel good about what my body could do. Whereas before, my main achievements were averagely academic, suddenly I had become physically more capable. Each run I could manage a little further. A little faster. It wasn't exactly enjoyable... it was seriously hard work... but a friend had said to give it 6 months before it clicked, so I did. Guess what? He was right. All of a sudden I fancied going for a run. Mrs 'not even running for a bus'. Yup. Me. That one.<br />
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Then, within a year and with a few races under my belt, I'd braved running with others, set up a running club (I'm not one for half measures!), completed a few parkruns and felt my confidence increase. It was a revelation. Then, life came screeching to a halt. Literally. One sunny Sunday evening in September, my family and I were involved in a fatal head-on collision with a motorcyclist who rode straight through the bonnet of our car at 70mph. It was utterly devastating. My life went from having a good work-life balance, happy family life, taking care of things financially to a mess of terrible guilt, flashbacks and deteriorating mental health.<br />
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Despite all this, the onset of PTSD, the rearing of a long-buried eating disorder and severe depression / anxiety that would prove cruelly resistant to treatment, part of me refused to give up on my running.<br />
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It became my calm in the storm. Anchoring me to the present. I would never have believed that running could be more than mastering the mechanics of moving one foot in front of the other whilst trying not to expire. Yet something about its rhythmic calm seemed to make sense when nothing else did. I clung on to the breathing space and security it had established in my life.<br />
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Each day, no matter how short or slow the run turned out to be, I laced up my trainers and headed out. As I ran, my mind calmed. Flashbacks from the accident, anxiety, the threat of panic attacks and the like receded. It was just me and motion. Meditation on the move. At first, I ran on my own, unable to face the gentle runners' chit chat normally shared on a route. The very act of being out there and claiming a small piece of the day made sense.<br />
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The more obvious benefits of exercise - improved health, improved fitness, improved sleep - seemed not to matter so very much when it came to helping me deal with the nightmare I'd found myself in. It turned out that keeping running actually wasn't about exercise at all. It was a way of holding on to something more than that. To the outside world at least, Sarah was still Sarah. I didn't know who I was anymore, but I wasn't going to let the accident take my running as well as everything else. I wouldn't let go. I couldn't.<br />
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Five years later, I still run as much as I can. I've had multiple hospital admissions, the depression and PTSD have nearly taken my life on several occasions, the eating disorder still rules every day, countless hours of tear-stained therapy, more medication than most pharmacies... but I still run. When I run I am free. When I run I am quieting the noise in my head. When I run, I listen to the steady patter of my feet and am soothed by the quiet rhythm of my breath. I feel the sharp cold of a Winter's morning and the soft rain of a Spring evening. I say hello to the dog walkers in the park and they chat to me as I go by. I am conscious of the strength in my limbs. It's powerful and beautiful.<br />
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You know what though? I am not running away. I'm not really running anywhere. When I run I'm not poor, pathetic Sarah whose life disappeared one Autumn dusk... I am me.<br />
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I run for me. I run to *be* me. And while I'm able to run, I can hold on for another day.Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-92203733849219853692016-10-14T09:48:00.001+01:002016-10-14T09:48:18.690+01:00Runstreak Day 14 - rules for rubbish daysToday's run was all a bit octopus on a treadmill wearing rollerskates. I just couldn't seem to get any flow to my running at all and I'm not even sure if my legs were receiving any of the signals my brain was trying to get through. And then there was the breathing. I was a sad gasping mess as I ran. Huffing and puffing, the works.<br />
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I kept it short, chucked in a couple of hills and got myself round. And now it's done I'm glad I did it. Which is kinda handy really! At least having done a fair old run streak before I know that days like this do just happen and you can't worry about them. Not every run will feel easy. Not every run comes over all Chariots of Fire in its epicness. In fact, quite a lot of runs are just plain cack! There are three rules for dealing with a crap run day:<br />
1) Cut it short if you need to<br />
2) Don't treat it as though that's how you normally run<br />
3) Forget about it and move on.<br />
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I am now commencing rule number 3 while I drink a cuppa. And... relax!Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-46808560373312620442016-10-04T20:55:00.001+01:002016-10-04T20:55:19.861+01:00Runstreak Day 4 - the one that nearly didn't countWell, it did count... but some how I managed to muck up recording my run so a mile in, I went to check my pace, glanced down and saw the watch offering to save my run for me. Rats! I pressed resume and it resumed on 0.00 miles. Grrrrr!! I hate it when that happens. It totally drives me crackers. I know it's a bit pathetic but I do get a bit 'if it isn't recorded it didn't really happen' about my run streak runs. And I'd only fancied doing a quick mile... so obviously I then had to run an extra mile to record the fact that I'd run a mile.<br />
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Okay... that doesn't make sense, but at the time my runner's logic said that it made sense. Sorta.<br />
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How was the run? Ermm... okayish. I'm not going far at the moment, my main goal is just getting back into the simplicity of running. Where I just get my trainers on, head out of the door and have time to just blank stuff out for a while. I don't really want to run with anyone at the moment - which I'm not sure is understandable to anyone else - I need to be quiet. So that's what I did. Plugged in some music, headed out of the door and made up a route while I was at it. I did run out of steam a bit after I realised my watch hadn't recorded my first mile... but that's because I was mentally throwing a hissy fit at my watch and having a 'couldn't be arsed' response to it all!<br />
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Tomorrow is a whole handful of days on this new run streak. It's going to take me a while to find my rhythm with this, but I'm going to do it. I have to reclaim my running - I've given too much of it to others over the past couple of years and I need to have it back.Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-23604676810987487262016-10-03T10:28:00.001+01:002016-10-03T10:28:14.014+01:00Runstreak Day 3 - just joggin'Day 3 and I've managed to do another run first thing in the morning which got it out of the way nicely! It felt a bit better than yesterday... it probably helps that I've started taking my iron tablets again. At least I didn't feel faint and wheezy today which was a relief.<br />
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Oh yeah, and I ran on my own again today. Could have run with others but I really do feel that I need time running by myself so that I can control all aspects of the run and not have to think about anyone else. Selfish, huh? It's just part of trying to rediscover that easy running which I used to love doing. I can't hide my running demons when it's just me. So instead, the idea is that I face them and find out what's up with me at the moment.<br />
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Anyway, it was a short run again. Less than 2 miles and a seriously dull route! I ran further up the hill before having a sneaky walk and could probably have carried on if I felt inclined to push it. I can't believe that I managed 13 miles last weekend when a couple of miles is challenging enough! I'm so glad I sold my place for the Tissington Trail HM next weekend. I think doing that might have pushed me over the edge and turned me off running completely!Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-35483434220744824782016-10-02T11:09:00.000+01:002016-10-02T11:09:31.054+01:00Runstreak Day 2 - yup, I started over...So I gave up my last run streak. I got to 795 days and decided that I just didn't want to run the next day. And I didn't. And with that little decision my run streak came to an end two and a bit years after I started it.<br />
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In the meantime, I've been running a half marathon each month to raise money for Great Ormond Street. I've been running beginner groups. And improver running groups. I've run for patches of time every day, then stopped. The thing that's really been happening though is that I've lost my pace and I haven't been feeling the love for running for quite a while. That's not good. Then, when I was running the Robin Hood Half Marathon last week... not enjoying it and not feeling good while I was running... I made a decision. I decided not to do any more half marathons this year and to work on finding my love of running again. <br />
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For now, I'm going to attempt to run every day in October and see where it takes me. I'd rather run a little each day and enjoy it, than slog out race after race and hate it. This morning was my second day. It wasn't easy - I ended up feeling faint and wheezy. If I'm honest, I'm finding running a bit of a battle right now and I need to run on my own without any pressure at all. I didn't even run very far - just a mile and a half - and I definitely didn't run very fast. Still, I did it. And tomorrow I'll do it again. And again and again. And maybe on one of those runs I'll rediscover the space, peace and strength that running gave me in the first place.Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-1770797536706850352015-02-27T21:51:00.002+00:002015-03-14T18:10:58.616+00:00Runstreak Day #453 - skipped one...... still did two. Runs, that is. But I was just too tired to run to pick up my littlest from school, so ended up having a lazy-ish day with my running and just going to Sweatshop with him in the evening instead. Knowing that although I was going to get a second run in, it really wouldn't be very fast or very far. And that suited me just fine.<br />
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In fact, the morning run was a struggle too. Not least because the weather was foul. Itty bitty spitty rain that absolutely soaked my face. Thank goodness for my waterproof running jacket... but even so, it was horrible out. Plus, the pavement we use is being dug up in loads of different places, so it's a bit like an obstacle course to navigate our way to school.<br />
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The evening run was less wet. My littlest was tired though and although he managed the first mile and a half without too much problem, by the last half mile he was definitely at the point of having had enough. He'd got his new running water bottle with him, but even that wasn't sufficient to keep him from flaking out by the end. He is enjoying it though and that's the most important thing for me. I'm not prepared to push him to do more than he's comfortable with because if he ends up hating it, what would be the point in that?<br />
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So, I copped out a bit today. Got some miles in. But nowt more than that.<br />
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And sometimes, that's all you need for a running streak!Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-24253091451656813612015-02-27T21:23:00.002+00:002015-03-14T18:10:58.619+00:00Runstreak Day #452 - things that seem like a good idea...... deciding that I'm going to do a race each month in 2015 and then not finding anything to enter in February. But having the bright idea to do a virtual race that month instead.<br />
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And then completely forgetting about it.<br />
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And all of a sudden, it's February 25th, you haven't done your 10k and you know that finding the time is going to be tricky in the last three days. <br />
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Which is exactly what happened to me! Whoopsie!! Just goes to show how fragmented my running is at the moment. A little bit here, a little bit there. But no long runs to speak of. My marathon training is *not* going well at all!!<br />
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In the end, I found a friend to run the 10k with and without her, I definitely wouldn't have been able to do it. I'd already run the 2.5 miles there and back to get my littlest to school in the morning, and I really wasn't feeling it in the slightest. Knowing that I had to meet someone else put enough pressure on me to get out of the door. Plus, I could say out loud 'I don't want to run particularly fast' and rather than then trying to kill myself anyway, I had someone with me to go 'I thought you didn't want to go very fast' and slow me down.<br />
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So, although it was a bit of a struggle and I really was too tired to do it. I earned my virtual race medal. I did my bit of the Miscarriage Association. And the 'I didn't quite remember to run' guilts have gone.<br />
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Oh, and I also over-heated a bit which means... don't tell anyone... but the weather is starting to warm up! YES!!!<br />
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Woooo hooooo!!Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-48667599542257144862015-02-27T21:22:00.001+00:002015-03-14T18:10:58.639+00:00Runstreak Day #451 - three run day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Although I'll be running again later for run streak day 451 parts 2 and 3, I thought I'd just share with you my school run-run with my littlest. If anyone can spot the flat bit where I get a rest, that'd be dandy! It's also the reason why my weekly elevation total for my runs looks like I climb a mountain on a regular basis!<br />
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There really is no escaping them. And when you're faced with getting a child to school who's late, you discover the ability to run them at increasingly quick speeds! Now, I don't know whether or not professional runners do the school run as part of their training... I'm assuming not... but we mummy runners have to do whatever we can to get the miles in. Even slogging up and down stupid hills several times a day!<br />
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Anyway, thanks to my dawdling son, I managed my own version of a Chariots of Fire run, complete with a slice of feeling epicness and having an old lady yell 'you're making me feel tired just looking at you!' at me! This obviously means my next couple of runs will be treacle runs but who cares? In your face hills!!<br />
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Mmmmmm... tea. Mmmmmm... ☺<br />
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PS Runs 2 and 3 were great - especially run 3 with my Colwick runners. They are such strong, beautiful, inspirational runners. I love getting to run with them! Plus, on run 2, I managed my fastest ever kilometre - breaking the 4 minute mark for the first time with 3:59!Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-89809551505504351692015-02-27T21:01:00.000+00:002015-03-14T18:10:58.651+00:00Runstreak Day #450 - inspirationDay 450!! Bosh!!<br />
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Ran 10k today, split over two runs. First was a run with my littlest to school and home again. The second was with our Monday evening beginners' group. Who were epic tonight! <br />
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After 450 days running each day, running can still surprise me. Sometimes it's how gross I can be (yeah, I am *that* gross)... sometimes it's how fab I feel... sometimes it's how frustrating it is... sometimes it's just how peaceful I feel. Today, I ran through my neck and shoulder hurting (damn prolapsed disc in my neck!)... but still managed to enjoy it. Yet, on other days, a small stone in my shoe can drive me to distraction and take away any enjoyment at all. <br />
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I also got to be blown away by how brilliant our beginners are. It was so cold and windy out, but they all ran for a minimum of 25 minutes. The sound of chatting as they went was excellent. And on a night when most people would be curled up on the sofa, our new runners were out there, braving the elements and being awesome. Surprising themselves with what they achieved too. Love it!<br />
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So, no particular celebratory run for 450. Just another day of running. Another good day where running featured in just the right amount. A day where I had counselling and in talking through things realised exactly how important running is to me. It's my link back to my old self. It brings me fulfillment and proves to me that I can still *do* things, even when so much else is difficult. I get company from inspirational women as I run. It's not bad, is it? Not bad at all. :)Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-81422474385528134012015-02-22T22:31:00.003+00:002015-03-14T18:10:58.648+00:00Runstreak Day #449 - full day of NWRThis whole 'setting up a running club' thing seemed like such a simple idea. We had lots of members of our Facebook group. Plenty of willingness. And oodles of enthusiasm.<br />
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The reality is that it's a LOT of work, taken on by a very few people. In the last week, I've set up an AGM and promoted it, attended a meeting with the city council, I've drafted a club constitution, posted role descriptors ready for nominations, come up with a system for voting and prepared a load of posters for our new beginners and improvers' sessions. As well as writing emails to my beginners group and delivering the session itself. You have to really want it to happen to get it to happen. Fortunately, I believe that it's the right thing to be doing and am happy to put the time in... but you sure couldn't do this stuff half-heartedly!!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitbGRQStQ9uLWoK-mFvuvZcM37Cgjnx-3I6NBxIm5GoxE9qu5f7OPQk-PcHZciJCFLWgKkBHJdBeViv-hOey4tJ6Rbm5eRP6cTszf9lojqxpogJ7SONhdTXihCHPTrta5ol5w923mnmWs/s1600/SAM_6341.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitbGRQStQ9uLWoK-mFvuvZcM37Cgjnx-3I6NBxIm5GoxE9qu5f7OPQk-PcHZciJCFLWgKkBHJdBeViv-hOey4tJ6Rbm5eRP6cTszf9lojqxpogJ7SONhdTXihCHPTrta5ol5w923mnmWs/s1600/SAM_6341.JPG" height="196" width="320" /></a>So... today's run was actually two runs. One was a run to my beginners' session. Not particularly fast, but a nice steady pace which felt good. The second was the 25 minute run with the group. They did amazingly well again - some running a lot more than 25 minutes. It blows me away to see their progress. And I love their enthusiasm and passion for their running too. I knew I wanted to run beginners' sessions when I decided to do the LiRF last year, but I had no idea exactly how rewarding it would be. It is so much fun but it is such a privilege as well. You get to see the difference running makes to other people's lives... and it's wonderful. <br /><br />Simple ideas take a lot of effort. Simple ideas can make a real difference. And if you want to make a difference, you have to put in the effort! If nothing else doing this runstreak has taught me is that you never regret finding a way to make time for the things you believe are worth doing.<br />
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449 days. Yup. Don't regret any of 'em.Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-47089529136712643062015-02-22T22:22:00.001+00:002015-03-14T18:10:58.636+00:00Runstreak Day #448 - ownsome lonesomeDay 448, all run and dusted. Yay!<br />
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For the first time in over a week, I got to run on my own. While I really enjoy running with other people a lot of the time (and I'd never have said that a year ago when the thought of running with others was terrifying!)... I definitely feel like I'm missing something by not getting that headspace running can bring. And every so often, I like a nice selfish wodge of time that's all for me.<br />
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As I set out on my run, the sky was clear and I glanced up at the stars. It was so pretty. And if you run when it's a bit later, the streets feel like they're yours. Hardly anyone about. Not much traffic. And you really do feel the freedom of running. It's a shame that lots of women are too scared to run at night on their own - because if you do it, it's one of life's little pleasures. Cold crisp air. Sparkly pavements. Quiet so you can let your mind drift. Really kinda delicious.<br />
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And in all that perfection of a nice gentle run... I got bloody well turtled. Damn it! And if you follow me on Strava, you can see the exact moment the turtling happened, because my pace went up to 6-7 minute miles as I dashed for home. <br />
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Turtle power!<br />
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So glam.<br />
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*head desk*Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-43895762493780744912015-02-20T22:01:00.001+00:002015-03-14T18:10:58.629+00:00Runstreak Day #447 - daylight tootleI have to be honest... I didn't really fancy a run today. Don't know why. Just didn't! I hadn't had a good night's sleep - which is nothing unusual - but I felt wrecked and as sluggish as a sluggish thing! I was almost going to ask if anyone else fancied going for a run with me this evening, but in the end, decided that I'd put on my big brave girl pants and go this afternoon.<br /><br />It was nice to go out in the daylight... but I didn't go alone. I got my littlest to come along with me. Having company when you're not really feeling it with your running is *exactly* what you need to do sometimes! Even if he is being a bit grumpy about whether to go on his bike or scooter. Then debates the route. Several times. Still, we got out and it was good. Got beeped at by one of my Colwick group who was going past in the car (yay for other runners!)... and arrived at the park to let him scoot around a bit while I ran round the park itself.<br />
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Y'know, it was nothing special, but I did quite enjoy it. Then went to the physio and got my neck mangled which wasn't quite so enjoyable! In a weird way though, I'm glad he's finally sussed what's the matter and the prolapsed disc in my neck will eventually get better... and waiting on muscles to heal which won't because the underlying problem isn't sorted... well, that's no longer an issue. It *will* get better. I won't have to have the pain and tingling in my neck and shoulder forever. And maybe, just maybe, I'll actually fancy going for a run on my own tomorrow!<br />
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Until then? There's tea. :o)Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-42691506101916463232015-02-20T21:56:00.000+00:002015-03-14T18:10:58.626+00:00Runstreak Day #446 - space for paceToday was kinda crazy. Good crazy. But crazy.<br />
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Of all the things I thought I'd do, I can't say that 'nerdy girl goes to sporty people's meeting and presents on what she's doing with sporty stuff herself' would ever have featured. In fact, if I think back to the hell that was sport at school, I know for sure that I wouldn't have done something like today.<br />
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But, today, I got to present to Nottingham City Council's 'This Girl Can' workshop on what we've been doing with Notts Women Runners. Isn't that mad? It was great. It totally wiped me out, not least because I had to walk to the venue because to be in a car to get there would have made me feel too stressed. Aaaargh! Running and being around positive people is such an antidote to the whole PTSD thing. Anyway, it seemed to go really well. It was lovely to be able to share with other people our NWR story. I am so proud of all that we've achieved. Funny to hear about people with pots of money trying to do what we've done with nothing. A lot of it comes down to people, doesn't it?<br />
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As I said, though, I was exhausted afterwards. I didn't fancy doing a hilly run, so I met up with a running friend and we did a 4-ish mile flattish plod round the neighbourhood. Well, it wasn't so much of a plod, we managed a good pace together and it's the first time in a while I've run with someone else at that kinda pace. Other than a 'stone in shoe' incident', it was great. Stones in shoes are evil though!<br />
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First world runners' problems. Gotta love 'em!<br />
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Crazy old day!Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-33996457125535412392015-02-20T21:55:00.001+00:002015-03-14T18:10:58.623+00:00Runstreak Day #445 - Sweatshop sweatingThis is my week of 'not running very much' after last week's busy one. Mainly because the kids are on half term and running when everyone's home doesn't go down well! So, today's run was Sweatshop with my littlest. He loves running down the hill - doing a weird chicken-monkey impression while he goes - but when he gets to the bottom and realises he has to go back up... oh dear. We had tears and everything tonight. Until he got engrossed in a conversation about Minecraft and suddenly discovered he could run again, without even trying!<br />
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While we were running, the cold, as ever, made me want to pee. Glam, right? Which made me also think about how gross I've become through my running. In fact, the longer my runstreak goes on, the more gross I get. If I get back from my beginners' runs, for example, I'm really not sweaty at all... so I don't shower. I body spray and change into my ordinary clothes. And then I wear the same running gear for the next run. Socks an' all. Mmmm... stinky. Plus, I snot rocket when I'm on my own. I have peed behind a bush. I may have not made it to the bush in the past... I am not frightened to be burp-powered. And a good travelling trump is always satisfying. Unless you suddenly become aware of someone behind you and then it's all kinda 'bury me' embarrassing.<br />
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So, when my littlest is crying about a hill, I'm struggling with sympathy because I actually need a pee. And all of the grossness above is a solo-activity. And there will be no bush visits! It becomes a matter of convincing him to get moving. And stop climbing on walls. Because the pee fairy is due a visit!<br />
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Anyway, I did have a bath after today's run. I'm fragrant as a rose. <br />
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But I still have epic snot-rocket skills. :o)Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-58489222719015087112015-02-17T23:43:00.001+00:002015-03-14T18:10:58.642+00:00Runstreak Day #444 - Tesco TuesdaysI love my Tesco Tuesdays!! About 25 - 30 from my beginners' group on a Sunday meet to repeat our Sunday run on Tuesday evenings! It's flippin' brilliant. Someone said to me this evening was I sad to see my little flock flying the nest as they ran their 20+ minutes... but that's not the case at all. I LOVE seeing them able to run. I don't think they have any idea how happy it makes me to see them flying along! They have gone from my beginner group to being my newest running buddies. It's awesome and I am the proudest proudest mother hen around!<br />
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I noticed this evening that in the first few weeks, while they were walking, they'd chat... but when they were running, it would go silent. Now they run and chat at the same time! How cool is that? Everyone's comfortable enough with their running that they've got beyond the 'OMG immagonnadie' bit of the first minute of running... and now they're running. They're properly running. And chatting too. WOOOO HOOO!!<br />
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It's just fabulous to see everyone from those who are at the front and can run a bit further to those in the middle who push themselves... to those at the back who are trying and trying with every step... it's wonderful to see what they can achieve. I used to run on my own. Always on my own. I didn't realise that running with others could be such a privilege. And when it's runners who you've shared such a change with. It is the most incredible thing.<br />
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And on Thursday I've been invited to talk about our running group... and I can't wait to do that either. It's a special community we've created. I hope other people can see it too!Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-71215400253558606412015-02-17T22:59:00.001+00:002015-03-14T18:10:58.645+00:00Runstreak Day #442 - Sunday beginner fundayYay! Today was a fab running day. I got to run with my beginners' group again... we now have 96 runners registered at my Sunday morning sessions... isn't that mad??? I never thought when I did the LiRF last year that I'd get to lead such a big and amazing group. Or that it would give me far more than I could ever have imagined.<br />
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My group did their first ever 20 minute run today and the atmosphere was electric. Full of nerves before they started... and then... such pride at the end. Lots of cheering when the 20 minutes was reached, high fives, hugs... it was awesome. I don't know that many of them could believe they'd done it. And done it in style too. Full of ace socks and happy runners, chatting as they went and supporting each other brilliantly. <br />
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I could wish that when I'd started I'd had a group to run with. It took me a year to brave running with other people and I was so nervous about being 'found out' that I wasn't a proper runner. Yet, here is this big, fabulous group of women, running together round the park while other park users smile and watch them go. It's just incredible to be part of.<br />
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Is it daft if I actually feel a bit tingly and teary when I think about it? I am just SO proud of them and all they've achieved in the past few weeks. <br />
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I'm also a teensy bit proud of myself today... I've managed my first ever 40 mile+ week and have clocked up over 200 miles already this year.<br />
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Just goes to show, it doesn't matter if you're running for 1 minute, 20 minutes or racking up the miles in some other way - running gives you so much to feel positive about. <br />
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I <3 running!!<br />
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And tea. And my running friends. And awesome socks. And my trainers!! And being outside and feeling inspired, free and completely happy on a Sunday morning.<br />
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*happy dances*Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-44350583193690683202015-02-17T22:42:00.002+00:002015-03-14T18:10:58.633+00:00Runstreak Day #443 - beginners at BulwellAnother short run today, but a goodie. With our beginners' group at Bulwell where I got to run with the faster group today. I really like the fact that I'm not leading it, but instead get to assist where needed. I often cover the back group, sometimes the middle... and today, up with the front. It means I get to run with a whole new bunch of people, enjoy their successes and cheer them on when they need it. But, above all, I get to be there with them when they're doing more than they ever realised they could.<div>
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It doesn't matter if I'm with the front, middle or back groups... success bubbles all around with our beginners. Tonight, they managed a 20 minute run for the first time. 20 whole minutes. From a group with whom we took those very first difficult running steps to being able to run with them for 20... and chatting too. I love hearing how running is already transforming their lives. What it's doing for their bodies. Their confidence.</div>
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It's a very special, powerful thing. I know that a lot of people don't get running or why you'd run. I wish they could even get one tiny glimpse of the transformation I see happening week by week. If you saw that, if you could be part of that, if you could feel the positivity... you might just start to get it too.</div>
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I am a lucky old me!</div>
Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-15929760275714627932015-02-14T22:24:00.000+00:002015-03-14T18:10:58.612+00:00Runstreak Day #441 - hill love againDay 441 all run and dusted!<br />
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It was going to be a parkrun day. with my littlest. Who then decided at the last minute that he wasn't going to go!<br />
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So I didn't either!<br />
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And then the rest of the day happened. So, it ended up being 8pm by the time I had time to go. Started out not knowing where I was running to. Just ran. Had felt weirdly anxious before setting out. Hate it that it can seep into everything, even the thought of running, which is one of the most automatic things to do. Sometimes it's just best to run through those moments... just gotta do up your trainers and head out of the door.<br />
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I vaguely ran down the hill, listening to whatever appeared on my iPod. Then decided that I'd tackle a hilly hill route. Mainly to distract myself from thinking about anything at all. Hills are great like that. Would never have caught myself saying that a couple of years ago! Hills were to be feared. Now, they're a challenge, sure... but they are one of the most completely absorbing, relaxing things to conquer. Even if they make you sweat and swear a bit. Today's hill was actually a couple of hills. One long and grinding with an evil kick at the end. The second goes evil-steady-evil-steady... and finally down. Hooray!<br />
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And tonight... down felt good. It felt aeroplane-arms kinda good. It felt wind-in-the-air-free-and-happy good. It felt just as it needed to feel.<br />
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And that's why hills are brilliant. They zone you out with the tough uphill stuff. And then rewards you with that feeling of 'woooo hooo' just at the right moment.<br />
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Ooooh... there appears to be a cuppa cha next to me. Yum!Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-72026968622460283812015-02-13T22:27:00.001+00:002015-02-27T21:59:05.976+00:00Runstreak Day #440 - prolapsed disc collector...Post-physio Friday. And I'm back to the slow, boring runs again. Since the car accident I've been having physio on my ankle, back and shoulder... and while the other things have gradually got better, the problem in my shoulder hasn't. Turns out to be a prolapsed disc in my neck. Yup, I have managed to have two prolapsed discs in the past few months. Gah.<br />
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Cue more yanking and poking of my neck. More exercises. More physio booked. And me feeling fed-up... again. Not least because it's been particularly bad today and I'm doing that awful stiff robot thing you do when your neck seizes up and you can't look side to side. Poo lumps. <br />
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Thank goodness for Ibuprofen! <br />
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Anyway, it didn't mean that I stopped running. Obviously! I just did a slow hilly run and pootled about the neighbourhood, discovering a new route while I was at it. Which is good! I do like finding a new route or two. Especially after so many days of running each day, it's good to get to explore now and again. <br />
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I also ran with my husband. Well, I ran. He walked. He will *not* run. Ever! So, I walked a bit, then ran loops around him! Fortunately (well, fortunately-ish!), the route was hilly, so I ran up and down the hills and he walked it and got a decent run in. And looked a bit weird in the process, managed a disjointed conversation with him, but I didn't care because I loved having his company.<br />
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Robot neck an' all.<br />
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But some how I haven't had a celebratory cup of tea. Weirdness!Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-83940722087508186572015-02-12T22:00:00.002+00:002015-02-27T21:59:05.981+00:00Runstreak Day #439 - a running sanctuaryToday has been a complete roller-coaster of a day. Virtually no sleep and fizzing with stress when I woke up at the prospect of the inquest into the biker's death being held today. Fortunately, I could splurge about it in RMR Heart to Heart and empty my head of that just a little bit. That and running my youngest to school. On the way there, we were late, so the task was about concentrating on getting him to keep a move on on his scooter while he was mid-grump. And having arrived with one second to spare (go us!), I ran back up the big hill and down the other side to home. It distracted me for a short while from the relentless anxiety of the day. There's nothing like a long slog of a hill to make you focus on nothing but the hill. It's weirdly relaxing!<br />
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On the way down the hill across the park towards home, a man said to me 'you put us to shame' as I ran past. I smiled at him but then thought 'actually, you're out here, walking in the park on two crutches while I'm just lollopping along' - people don't realise that amazing efforts come in all shapes and sizes, do they?<br />
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Anyway, that was run 1. Run 2 was the school run in reverse. Yet again, I was late. This time, because I just couldn't get myself out of the house. I'd had a massive panic attack and taken a beta-blocker to calm it down. Completely forgetting what a crazy effect it has on my energy levels / blood pressure. Which is why by the time I'd picked up my son and he was scooting back up the hill, I was having to stop through sheer exhaustion and to prevent myself from fainting. Plus, he was really upset by the inquest and the accident and ended up in angry, confused tears about it all. Gah!<br />
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With 5 miles clocked up, there was just one run left to do. This one with my littlest and was a Sweatshop run at a different location from normal. He REALLY wanted to do it, and even though I was exhausted from a stressful day, thought that I should get out there with him. He was full of the joys of running and it was lovely to see him enjoying it so much. I'm glad we went.<br />
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The inquest verdict? Officially no blame on my husband which is a huge relief (but I don't suddenly feel better which is frustrating!). Plus, I also had an email inviting Zoe Blackburn and I to a 'This Girl Can' event next week, to 'shape future delivery for women and girls sport and physical activity participation in Nottingham' along with the proper sporting bods from our region - doesn't that sound grown up!!! <br />
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Running, yet again, provided a sanctuary from everything else that needed dealing with today. 439 days run. I'm glad of every single one of them.Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-57933481486761077542015-02-12T01:04:00.001+00:002015-02-27T21:59:05.972+00:00Runstreak Day #437 - 8 mileWell, 8 miles split over a full day. It's amazing how just running the school run adds up the mileage without much stress at all. 2.5 miles round trip in the morning. 2.5 in the afternoon. And then with a beginner's run in the evening, it made a comfortable 8 miles.<br />
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I know. Comfortable. And 8 miles in the same sentence!<br />
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It's still feeling slightly scary to glue all those miles back together, but what with the various running commitments I have at the moment... interspersed with feeling crappy and other stuff, having the energy to do a big blob of a run is a challenge. Plus, I'm enjoying the run to and from school with my littlest. He loves scooting along with me and chatting about Lego, Lego and more Lego. And Lego. Of course.<br />
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Plus, then I had the sheer joy of running with some of my Colwick beginners. I informally repeat our Sunday session on a Tuesday and there are about 25 of us running round Carlton. A gaggle of chatting and happiness. It's lovely. And then there are moments such as seeing someone who'd been struggling not to walk in the run sections of the session, voluntarily running back up the hill to the supermarket where we'd started. I felt so proud of her. I feel so proud of all of them. The mood is just so positive and happy. When I don't feel 100%, it's things like this that remind me of how amazing things can be. No matter how flat and low I feel, runs like that still sparkle.<br />
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And it always means I've earned my cuppa cha afterwards. Hooray!Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-1117818730148619922015-02-12T01:04:00.000+00:002015-02-27T21:59:05.963+00:00Runstreak Day #438 - short runs, big plansOnly a really short run today. It wasn't going to be, but I felt just too tired to run again this afternoon, and with a busy evening, there wasn't time for it otherwise.<br />
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Well, when I say there wasn't time... actually... there was. I just didn't feel up to it. So, I didn't. The months of little sleep have well and truly caught up with me! Which leaves me listening to my body and collapsing in a heap for an old lady nap in the afternoon rather than pushing through it. The run I did in the morning was just running my littlest to school. Although it's short, it does involve a couple of hundred feet of climbing and that definitely works the legs in a morning. <br />
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This morning, I also had the pleasure of carrying part of my daughter's lunch with me... and my son's lunch... and her jumper... and... and... and. All the stuff that was 'too heavy' for them to carry, but apparently fine for me to run with. The problem is that my running back is great for light stuff... however, it doesn't quite fit tightly enough to my body and even with the straps done up fully, there's a bit of jiggle space kicking around. When you have something heavy in the bag, that means it's a-rockin' to and fro... and drives you just a bit crackers! It was so nice to get to school, get rid of their stuff... and then run home, light and free!<br />
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Also didn't do a Sweatshop run this evening as I had a meeting about the next sessions we're going to run with Notts Women Runners. It's really exciting to be part of it and the potential of getting all those women running is huge! The other thing that's good is having somewhere to point our current beginner runners so we don't just abandon them the moment they get into running and form a community. Can't wait to get advertising and see what happens!!<br />
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Right. Bed. Insomnia... here I come! *yawns*Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-1751006734801374172015-02-12T01:03:00.001+00:002015-02-27T21:59:05.967+00:00Runstreak Day #435 - soxy!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Hooray! It's me and some of my fab Beginners' group from this morning's session *points at photo* ... and look... crazy sock wearing is spreading all over Nottingham!! YAY!!!!<br />
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Beautiful morning for a run today. I could almost... almost start to feel that *whispers* Spring might be in the air. Almost. The sun was out and there was a teensy bit of warmth to it. There was lots of happy chatting as we ran. And I even managed to be outside without a bobble hat on for.... ooooh... seconds! <br />
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As seems to be the case at the moment, my running was broken up into smaller runs. One run to the park - where I thought I was late and took a stupidly steep shortcut - and then arrived early. Whoops! One run with the beginners' group around the lakes... totally inspiring as ever. I LOVE it! And one run around the lakes again at the end looking for someone's keys which had been dropped! A little extra bonus of a run right at the end. Gotta love it. Still, at least I wasn't standing around getting cold today. I got to enjoy the company of a whole load of other incredible women. And had moments with Zoe Blackburn which made me laugh my face off.<br />
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What's not to like about starting off a Sunday like that? As I was doing my final bit of running to look for the car keys I was running thinking 'must concentrate on looking for keys... oooh... isn't it lovely to be running along in the sunshine... and look at the sparkly water... and oh, there's some geese... and a puppy dog... hello puppy dog... mmmm, running under the trees... soon be Spring... la la laaaa... Whoops! Should be looking for keys... concentrate... concentrate... keys... right... look for them... oh, hello blue sky! And snowdrops! Oh and mind out for the puddle... doo be doo...'<br />
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I didn't find the keys.<br />
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Fortunately, someone else did. Phewie!!<br />
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Day 435 - you were a goodie! And I've finally brought my weekly mileage back up above 35 miles. Result!!Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-38601273403644131182015-02-12T00:59:00.000+00:002015-02-27T21:53:02.044+00:00Runstreak Day #434 - running with Raynaud'sRunstreak day 434 - and the day where I ran to parkrun... didn't run parkrun... then ran home again.<br />
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The middle bit involved me volunteering for the first time. It was really good to be involved and my favourite part of all was watching all the parkrunners coming round the small lake at the start of it. It's wonderful! A stream of runners coming together. Reminds you of the power of parkrun. <br />
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If only the power of parkrun could keep you warm though. I was ABSOLUTELY frozen! I'd got warm on my run there and had a couple of extra layers to put on once I arrived. I had 6 layers on!!! Unfortunately, as soon as I went to stand at the finish funnel ready to do barcode stuff... I started to get cold. Standing on the frozen, muddy grass, I could feel the cold pinching at my feet. I jogged on the spot a bit. Jiggled about. But the mud clagged more on my trainers and I got colder and colder. By the time I'd dealt with the last barcode, I'd been standing around for over an hour and couldn't stop shaking.<br />
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Now... that's fine, if you can get yourself warm pretty quickly. But if you can't and you have to run home, you're in trouble. *I* was in trouble. I have Raynaud's and really struggle to keep my hands, feet and face warm. I'd got two pairs of gloves on, but my hands were painful. The real problem, however, was my feet. I had gone way past pain and I couldn't feel any part of my feet. My leg muscles were stiff with the cold and when I went to start running with Katherine to get home... I managed a couple of minutes and then had to stop! Which is completely unlike me. <br />
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I tried to get started again and managed a weirdly slow jog. I rang my husband to see if he'd pick me up. No answer. I tried again. No answer. I *had* to manage it. Now, if anyone else has tried to run with no feeling in their feet, it is the weirdest thing ever. You feel the thud of the ground hitting them... in your legs. But in your feet. Nothing. I had a big hill to run up. I walked it. I'd run the same route there and have run around there loads of times, but I was so disorientated with the cold, I couldn't recognise where I was. Some how, I managed to get home. I honestly don't know how. Thud, thud, thud of my flat feet stiffly hitting the ground and the only way I could run was by trying to move my feet in time with me counting the steps, 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4.<br />
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I was too cold to take my trainers off and had to have my husband help me into the shower... and then went to bed as I felt so horrible. My feet were completely white from my ankles to the tips of my toes. And my hands were agony. Plus, my face was so numb my speech ended up slurred and slow! Damn Raynaud's!!<br />
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So... much though I love parkrun... I won't be volunteering again until the weather is warmer!! My impression of a human icepop is not one I want to repeat again in a hurry! <br />
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PS Even a cuppa cha didn't help. *shock horror*Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8878086894495844893.post-23954596848206365122015-02-09T21:25:00.003+00:002015-02-27T21:53:02.037+00:00Runstreak Day #436 - broken banana, broken meThat's it. I broke myself today.<br />
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Ran just over 12 miles in a variety of blobs of running. Plus, walked just over 6 miles to and from town.<br />
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And now, I can barely move. That's the way to start your week, right? Didn't quite think today's running through. I was just going to run my littlest to and from school - which would have been about 5 miles. And then do the back marking job for the beginners' group we run on a Monday night, giving me another couple of miles. Then... this afternoon my husband texts me and says he's got an appointment at 4:30 and won't be home before 6. Which means that any chance of him taking me to the beginners' group has vanished.<br />
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And which also means that my quickest way of getting there is to run it. Which would be fine if it weren't for the fact that the route there is flippin' hilly. Up, up a bit more, up some more, down, up, up again, down a bit, then more upness, a smidge of down, more never-ending upitude and finally a small down... before that last hilly bit. Bleh! I ended up being a few minutes late to the beginners' group. Had chance to eat half a smooshed banana which had been destroyed during my run there. And then set off with the beginners. Naughtily, I know I didn't push the back runners as much as I might have. Because *my* legs were broken! I know it's not all about me and it's about what the group needs etc.<br />
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But... I am broken! Properly broken.<br />
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One cuppa cha later and I'm still broken. Bed beckons! Day 436 and about 3,000,000 bits of running. And my feet are cold. Just in case you wondered!Sarah H-Fhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09659147785218309965noreply@blogger.com0